Is There a World Outside My Computer?

I have been working on five stories this month, all due in four days. I'm in good shape. I have the next three days heavily scheduled out with a current schedule that affords me time to immerse myself in my worlds and still be present in my home- although my cat Mara might disagree. She has been denied lap more times than she feels is justified.

It was hard to get disciplined, but easy to stay that way. I have found my groove. I worried I wouldn't, but chased it anyway. If I get all my submissions done by Friday, I'll actually be able to enjoy my holiday weekend.

My (Current) Creative Process

Sometimes this happens over weeks, sometimes days, and in the worst times, over one weekend. When you ride the creative waves of inspiration, sometimes they are elusive and other times they sweep you up and carry you with them. So when the waves stop, and you are stranded in an unknown sea, and the direction is unclear, it’s a good time to evaluate your faith in yourself.

For the moment, my process seems to be pretty consistent. Shared with intended humor, though it's still true, this is how each story is born:

• So, I have this idea…
• I think my idea is pretty good.
• This is a pretty good story.
• This is going awesome!
• Huh.
• This is tricky.
• I can’t figure it out.
• Fucking-a.
• (This is where I try to distract my brain with stupid logic puzzle games.)
• Okay. I need to babble at you about a story you don’t know anything about. But please don’t ask me any questions yet or you’ll derail my train of thought.  I just need you to let me babble.
• I hit a wall and it’s a thick wall.
• I’m going to moan about it and say I need to take a break but I’m not going to take a break. Instead I’m going to work on this one sentence for the next 5 hours.
• This is crap. THIS SUCKS! I don’t even remember where it was going!
• I’m going to ask you what you think, but everything you say will be wrong. Sorry in advance.
• I don’t want to hear you say that I’m a good writer and I can do this. Stop encouraging my failure!
• I suck. This was a horrible idea. Everything I write is lame. What was I thinking?!
• The universe is lame. I can’t write. I can’t be a writer.  I want to die.
• I should just work at Crawl-mart…
• …but I can’t imagine doing anything other than writing.
• (Deep breaths.)
• I just need you to tell me I’m a good writer. Tell me I can do this.
• I need to look at my story with new eyes.
• Okay, a lot of it doesn’t suck.
• OH! OMG! I figured it out!
• (Insert usual unhappiness that I had to cut something/someone I cared about to make it work. At least I accept it as part of the journey. Fighting it only insures a broken story.)
• That was so easy to fix.
• I think this is a good story.
• I wrote a really good story.
• Writing is awesome. 

Oaths and Statistics

You have to get your feet wet.

A little over a year ago, I made a public statement on land sacred to me, that I was going to take a leap of faith, believe in myself, and send my writing out regularly. I am happy to look back at that moment and be able to say that I did it. There were a few months where there were lulls in submissions calls, but during those times I kept working on the next story, never ceasing to string words together. I built worlds.

In the last year, I wrote and edited over a dozen stories, of varying lengths. I sent them out into the world and received a passel of rejections, which indoctrinates me into the Every Writer Club. You know what helped with that? I shared my favorite rejection form letters with other writer friends. It’s not personal. Most of the time, you are one of hundreds of writers vying for a dozen spots.

But, in that same year, four of my stories were accepted!

I still doubt myself and my words. It comes with being an artist. But I have a trust now that I didn’t have before I opened myself to accepting rejection into my creative process. I trust that each story that doesn’t hit the mark is a learning experience to make the next story, or rewrite, better. And I trust that a rejection doesn’t mean my story is bad, but that it simply hasn’t found the right home yet.

As a writer, you are creator, nurturer, adoption manager, and undertaker. I have new goals this year, and prayers that my computer can hold out until I get paid enough for a story to replace it. Wherever you are in your own process, may your time be fruitful and productive.

Happy Hunting!

June Release for the Folklore Anthology!

I am thrilled to announce that the first book in NordLand Publishing’s Northlore Series, Folklore, will be released in June. My story “Hold the Door” is in this anthology! It has been a pleasure to work with the team at NordLand and I cannot wait to see this cover in person.

If you’re a fan of storytelling, of prose and poetry, of Norse flavored sagas and fairy tales, of monsters and creatures, of gods and heroes, check this series out.

A link to NordLand's announcement! 

Good News Cometh

I have a sci-fi story and a fantasy story to edit. I have an urban fantasy story to clean up and another urban fantasy story to bring to life. So of course, I started working on an original fairy tale instead. 

Sometimes the muse bids us to follow another wind. And sometimes looming deadlines overrule the whims of the muse.

*

Yesterday morning, I woke to an e-mail in my inbox. Since they’re mostly rejections, I was ready to steel myself for a few minutes of sadness and tears, before moving on. But when I opened it, I almost didn’t understand the words:

“I am happy to tell you that your excellent story has been accepted…”

Cue tears of disbelief, hand over my mouth in joy. The contract will come next month. The YA anthology the story has been accepted in should be published this October. More info to come!

And, this morning I learned that a story I signed a contract on last summer is moving forward with it’s publication. That’s two stories due to be printed this year!

It doesn’t mean I get to relax. I have to maintain this momentum. More hiccups and hurdles will come. But so will the good news. 

Silver Linings

I have five stories out waiting to be read and accepted or rejected. One story has been out since September, almost seven months now. On the publisher’s webpage, several authors have posted about signing contracts and getting published, only to never receive payment or their contributor’s copy. The publisher has responded each time publicly, assuring that they did so months ago. But they have yet to respond to my story. And it’s unlikely I would sign the contract if they did. It’s a shame. It’s a good one that would have meshed perfectly with their project.

But otherwise… other authors have been posting their rejections to projects I submitted. It’s nerve-wracking, and ironic, as artists and creative types tend to be sensitive by nature. And wounded by rejections over creations we consider to be our children. It’s enough to make some people give up. To decide that at some numbered rejection, their story isn’t good enough and they set it aside.

We forget that there’s also the audience to consider. Sometimes we shop stories around to the wrong places, because we don’t know better. I’ve had my fair share of those. I’m new to the business and not so savvy about that end of it. So there are bound to be hiccups and bumps along the road.

What matters is that I get up, dust myself off, and keep going. What matters most to me, about this journey, is that I didn’t think I had the heart for so much “no” and I am encouraged to find that the fortitude to do it anyway, because it is in my nature to do so, lives inside me, beneath that hurt.

I have this ritual I do every morning before I open my author e-mail account. I tell myself that rejection is part of the journey. If I get them it’s because I’m putting myself out into the world. And I believe that eventually, after a slew of rejections, the acceptance letters will come. So I welcome the rejections.

Still, every morning I don’t have a rejection in my inbox is a good one. It means one more day my story is being considered. When your career boils down to a daily game of chance, it’s all about the silver linings.

What keeps you going, on your uncertain path? 

Fundraisers, and Why Artists Ask You to Back Them

Photo by Sarah Lyn Eaton

Steps in Being a Writer (as I have discovered them in my personal journey, so take it with many grains of salt)

1) The first step in being a writer is to write.

2) The second step is to finish something.

3) The third step is to let someone else read it. This is the stage for beta readers, where I want to know if the story makes sense? Did you enjoy it? Did you care about the characters?

4) The next step is a hodgepodge of waiting for feedback and getting sick waiting, of wanting it and not wanting it at the same time. It’s where the artistic crisis of faith comes into play and you doubt every word you wrote and you’re not sure anyone will like your story, EVER. That feeling never truly goes away, for any artist, but it does lead you to…

5) Believe in yourself, that this is your path, or let it go and find another. Which you’ll consider for half a day, seriously, until you remember there is no other path.

6) Accept that no story will ever be perfect from the gate and learn how to edit yourself, how to craft your story the way you want to tell it. I often have multiple people reading during this stage, where I get a little more insistent with my questions. If all you give me is “I liked it” you might as well kiss me with death-lips. I’m glad you liked it. But there are a lot of good writers out there. I want you to want to read it again. And I repeat this step until I am satisfied.

7) The fourth step is to send it out, pray to whatever deities you believe in, and cultivate fortitude. There will be way more rejections than acceptances. If, like me, you aren’t sure about the market for your stories, you might start with smaller non-professional paying anthologies, magazines, and e-zines before submitting to professional markets. Seriously, I thought I understood how many rejections might come my way. I was wrong. If you’re lucky, you’ll get helpful feedback with your rejection. But when publishers have to sort through hundreds of stories in a timely manner, you can’t expect it.

This last step is where dreams can wilt.

I started sending stories out to non-professional paying markets while I practiced my story crafting. It’s very common to be offered $30 for a 6000 word story when the going rate is .06/word professionally, which would be $360. That’s a $330 pay cut for the experience and exposure. And I get it. Start-up publishers would like to pay more but can’t, though they still want the talent to come in build their reputation.

So far, I have sold my stories for a split share of royalties, because at the end of the day, if someone wants my story, I want them to have it. That’s the reason I chose this path. To share my stories. Not to make money (hopeless artist). But I am hoping that along the journey, that will happen as well (hopeful artist).

It’s what we all hope.

I submitted a story for consideration to an e-zine that can only pay $15 a story right now, but I had an early story that fit their theme and I would be happy to be included- and ecstatic to get $15 for my writing right now! A lot of publishers hope you will sell them your story for exposure, which is good, but it’s like asking a band to come play for a night in your club for exposure, or asking an artist to paint a mural on your building for free because people will see their work. And it is exposure. Which you can do once in a while. And most artists I know do it more than once in a while. Because the path is more important to us. Too bad the taxman didn’t feel the same way.

The last 6000 word story I wrote was the child of three days of story crafting and world building and question answering and outline/draft typing, stopping only to eat and sleep and clean the cat litter. It was followed by five days of exhaustive editing and fleshing out. I kept track. I was working ten hour days to finish a story that will maybe, eventually, earn me money. The more I write, the shorter each step gets, and the better my work gets, which will hopefully mean more stories will sell. It’s a strange teeter-totter.

Where the Fundraising Part Comes In

Many writers and young publishers have turned to the world of fundraising to procure the funds needed to produce a new book, hopefully including payment to the authors, too. Fundraising is similar to ways in which artists have historically been aided. Those patrons who enjoyed the art, music, literature, or theatre, etc. but could not do it themselves would pay artist’s bills while they produced for the pleasure of the discovery.

To be an artist means you make difficult choices as you pursue your craft, each step of the way fighting society’s expectations of and for you. So why should you give some of your well-earned money to artists? Because what would this world be like without art? Without Beethoven or Eric Clapton? Without Shakespeare or Tony Kushner? Without Walt Whitman, Maria Ranier Rilke, or Mary Oliver? Without Meryl Streep or Sir Ian McKellan? Without Vincent Van Gogh, Mary Cassatt, Kandinsky, Michelangelo, or Andrew Wyeth? If you go to the movies, you already support the arts!

And you could help support and encourage the birth of my next story.

A link to the kickstarter campaign for Mobbing Midnight: An Anthology of Crows, and the update where I answer the question "Why Crows?"

The way these campaigns work is, if you feel inclined to donate, you become a patron of the arts and what is known as a “backer” with several rewards that include offering you a reserved copy of the book by helping in advance. The money is not taken from you until the campaign is over. If we don’t reach our goal, you don’t lose any money, the book doesn’t get funded, and we probably publish it anyway, because our stories are our children and we want to set them loose in the world. And then we hope for royalties after the book sells.

You could be a revolutionary. Donations start as $1 but for just $12, it also gets you a copy of the finished book, plus a book mark featuring art by Jennifer Campbell-Smith. You may think even a dollar doesn’t matter, but to a starving artist trying to find their way in the world, every dollar counts. You can’t lose. Either you ultimately don’t have to fork any money over, or you become one of the people who made the birth of a new work of literature possible (something you could brag about). 

Crow Anthology Kickstarter

Who doesn't love crows?!

A link to the Kickstarter for Mobbing Midnight: An Anthology of Crows

Today includes an update from me, answering the question "Why crows?" Any support you offer will help us reach our goal of publishing a professional collection of stories, where all of us starving artists would actually get paid a professional rate! Patronage starts as low as $1, and every one counts.